Is it abnormal to watch porn while in a relationship?

Kasim K 1908

1. you are overreacting.
2. Definitely dont break up with her if you both love each other. That would just be really dumb.
3. Stop watching porn. Or at least be descrete about what you do. Dont tell her stuff thats going to bother her. Especially if you are not cheating. Though porn is not good for you anyway, it is perversion and objectification of women, get a hobby if youre bored, comic book collecting is back in btw.
4. She probably told you about her friend because she is really bothered by your PORN WATCHING. Thats the only reason why any woman would tell you that. Most would just enjoy their fantasy without telling you. A woman would only tell you that she fantasizes about other guys if she is jealous. If she isnt she probably wouldnt even tell you if you asked, unless she knew it wasnt going to bother you.

Hope that helps. Trust me, ive been there, not the porn watching but the jealousy place. Dont break up because of jealousy, its incredibly dumb. Plus she didnt cheat on you. People fantasize all the time, but its not cheathing. Doing something thats not going to make your woman unecessarily jealous is a key to happiness. And porn is not necessary.

And if that doesnt work, hit the gym. If you look too hot for her to think of anything else, all your problems will be solved. Bada bing bada boom.

Gregory Magarshak 1212

I don't think the crime equals the punishment. If you watched porn while having sex with her, how would she feel?

I think she is mostly trying to get more of your attention, etc. Also people view things differently depending on how they found out about them. You could have introduced her to porn and watched together or something.

Personally my girlfriend never had a problem with me watching porn, but that's because I was tactful in the beginning and refused to show her :) She still wanted to see. But we might have been younger.

Gino Das 1360

Give porn a miss for awhile and see what happens.And take it slowly,spend some time talking and having fun together.I know it's not easy.Anyway,good luck.

Jessica O'Roak 1271

Honestly, as a girlfriend i would be offended if i found out my boyfriend watches porn. but to answer your question no it isn't abnormal i know a lot of people who are in relationships that watch it together or separately the main thing is you aren't attached to the people you're watching you're emotionally involved with your significant other.

the fact that she fantasizes about another guy is just wrong, i mean my mind wanders a lot but it never focuses on anyone person or thing and never in a fantasizing way more of random thoughts. personally i would be worried if they fantasize about them how long would it be till she starts to wonder about how it would be with him. i think you should talk it out with her. its nothing to end a relationship over but if you can't come to agreement then maybe you need a break or its time to find someone new.

So basically, you are not wrong, she is, you should talk to her not break up with her right out but if you still have issues it may be time to call it quits.

Jonathan Burley 2375

"is it abnormal for someone who is in a good relationship to watch porn occasionally?"

No it isn't abnormal, is it normal for their partner to be okay with it? Well, that's a difficult question and mostly irrelevant. It is rather like asking whether it's normal to get brazilians, hollywoods, allow anal sex, enjoy anal sex, reject blowjobs etc... What an individual goes for is an inherent part of their personality and it is in no way fair to compare (by contrast to others) what is 'normal' and desirable behaviour.


Your girlfriend's behaviour sounds... Odd. It is possible that nothing has happened but she feels guilty for fantasising about this guy and told you in an attempt to work it out, and subsequently snapped and equated her behaviour to your porn habit. Snapping and getting angry at you was childish behaviour if she hadn't objected to it before. (I would point out that you are hardly blameless if you kept flagrant porn habits knowing that she hated it, that was something that should have been sorted out between you).

Perhaps she genuinely sees porn and fondly imagining bump&grind with a friend as equivalent and invented a tale to prove her point (you don't like the thought of me fantasising about someone during sex... well think how I feel when I know you get off on other women?). Again I'm not sure if I think of that as "healthy" behaviour on her part but perhaps understandable

However, most interpretations of what's going on (liberally mentioned in prior posts) are not good.

I'd ask what your focus in asking the question was... Is this (as you see it) about whether you should change your porn habit? Did your girlfriend bring up the fantasising to attack your porn habit? Are they separate issues and she bridged a link between the two issues when arguing? Is the source of the issue a huge anger at your behaviour (that was dealt with badly) or was this a manipulative action [revealing this fantasising?]

PS. What is the "document" you mention in point 7?

Nicole Hahn New Brain

i would say B more then A because if shes going to go as far as making stuff up more then it is just to make u mad then shes got some growing up to do,two wrongs don't make a right. an watching porn is not wrong,everyone does it an besides its allot better to watch people that u will NEVER see then fantasize about someone that Ur friends with an maybe one day have a chance of something to happening...bu if u really do love each other then there's always hope for everything to work out, but i would suggest to go an talk with someone other then yourselves because its better to hear it from someone else's point of view an they could let u know what to do about the situation.

Sara Schneider 1199

A and B are both yes- you are BOTH guilty of infidelity. I also think you should break up purely because you are sexually active. Sex before marriage is a sin. As is porn. In regards to your last question.... unfortunately it ISN'T abnormal in our society today, but that does not under ANY circumstance make it right.

Danielle Shanley 2399

1. Porn is normal. Personally, I could care less if my husband watches porn or goes to a strip club...because he always comes back to me!! I understand that porn for him is like shoe shopping for me....it is just something he enjoys. HOWEVER...I do have friends who are offended if thier sig. other watches porn..and that is something they have to work out between them.

2. WHY THE HELL is she sharing info. with you about who she is fantisizing about??? Sounds to me like she is just being mean. My guess is that she is either already with the other guy and is trying to make you mad enough to give her an excuse to break up with you, OR she isn't even really thinking about him, she is just saying it to prove a point......That is just an awful thing to do to someone. I would be more concerned with he ability to communicate and solve issues....because if this is the way she goes about it....look out!!!

Charles Palmer New Brain

My ex-wife used the "we're just friends" line for about a year before I realized there was a problem. I would've realized it a lot sooner had his name ever come up when we were intimate.

I'm not saying anything is going on...but if it walks like a duck...and it quacks like a duck...you have a problem my friend...

She's already moved on mentally & emotionally. It's time for you to do the same.

Luke Geldmacher 1462

Answer to Question A: No, to stop watching porn would be like giving up a long time friend. Porn was there before her and will be there long after she's gone.

Answer to Question B: I would be damn close to doing so. Secretly fantasizing about someone is one thing. Letting them find out would be waaaay bad juju. And "making up" a letter to make you mad is just...insanity. Personally I would break up with her on general principles. One being not being mature enough to talk about the problem she has with your porn. Two being her "platonic" relashionship. A friend of mine's gf recently had a "platonic" relashionship with someone that turned out to be...not so platonic. Warning flag. Three being it really sounds like the whole "I made it up to make you mad", thing is total BS and she's trying to hide her true intentions/feelings. If she wasn't lying, refer back to Point 1.

Answer to Question C: This is really up to you. As I said before, I would probably break up on general principles. But that's just me...and I'm a dick.

I really want to watch some porn now.