Why can't I let myself go to sleep?? Anyone else have this problem??

Why can't I let myself go to sleep?? Anyone else have this problem??

9 answers , last was 16 years ago

Here I am, yet again, late at night, knowing that I need to get some sleep so I can wake up at a decent time... yet for some reason I can't bring myself to stop procrastinating.

I feel like I have so many things I should do before I go to sleep, but usually by the time it gets this late, I have no idea what they are. I've already shut down the part of my mind that focuses on work, and now my mind still wants to be occupied.

I end up prolonging the night well into the wee hours, basically just wasting time because I don't feel like going to bed yet. Looking at peoples' profiles, playing facebook games like PathWords, Attack, and some of the Mindjolt games, writing stupid questions on BBA, etc. Checking my e-mails and messages, and sometimes BBA responses, hoping that someone just as crazy as me is out there and wishes to communicate at this wee hour.

Years ago I used to have such trouble falling asleep -- laying in bed, unable to shut off my mind, lying still for hours and hoping for sleep. Today when I finally stop procrastinating and lay down with the goal of sleeping, it comes quickly. That's a huge improvement and a big relief. But why do I feel so un-ready for sleep? Why can't I stop myself from thinking sleep is a waste of time, yet I sit in bed on my laptop as if I weren't wasting time.

Who else out there has this problem? I know I'm a little bit crazy but I also know it could be much worse!! How do I convince myself that it's ok to let the day end, and be comfortable with bringing it to a close? Why do I feel that posting this question is one extra thing I accomplished today, when in actuality, all I really did was waste more time???? Those of you who have this problem, how do you convince yourself that you want to end the day and go to sleep?

Asked by R. Neil Covington in Random Questions at 2:15am on May 19th, 2008
Brent Taylor 2317
Answered at 6:34am on August 18th, 2008
I'm totally with you. It's not even that I can't sleep physically. I absolutely could. It's just this weird mental block just like you described.

I find it's a lot easier when I work the day shift (6am to 2pm) at my job regularly. Early morning school classes don't do it, or anything else, but when I know I need to get up to make money in the morning suddenly sleep doesn't seem so horrible. I think it's because I know I'm getting up to do something I feel good about and that I can't tell myself I'm going to do in them middle of the night, or some other time.

I think another part of it is that I tend to look at ending the day like some kind of failure - like I haven't had any big accomplishment or breakthrough yet so I should keep staying up. Maybe if we try to emphasize that getting some dang sleep is part of our 'big-picture' goals.

Anyhow, I don't have a lot of great answers but you're definitely not the only one. Remember, folks - he's not talking about insomnia, he's talking about getting over the hurdle of just going to bed.

I'm going to go to bed now. After I check my messages one more time...
Unknown Brain 1710
Answered at 4:26am on May 31st, 2008
If you TRY to fall asleep you wont be able to. That is one of those things when you just need to relax and it will just happen. But I know from expereince that that is easier said then done. For starters you dont need to feel like you cant relax. I am sure you work hard enough that you can feel ok stopping your day. Its not healthy to feel like you cant stop or relax. Answering one more question, playing one more game, staying up a little later is not going to make you really accomplish much. It will only make you restless. Every day has a beginning and an end, wether for you it be 7am-11pm or 3pm to 5am, every day needs to end, so just let it. Being on the computer when trying to fall asleep doesnt work for me at least because it is too much stimulus. At night when you are laying in bed, dont think about everything that you did not accomplish, think of all the things you did even if they are small things like taking out the trash, paying a bill, or shaving. For me sometimes it gets to the point where I have to just let go and give in. I try to hold onto things and dwell on things and situations so much that sometimes I just need to admit that I cant fix everything. I find peace in knowing that and putting my days problems in God's hands. I hope that you are able to sleep better soon.
John D. 1241
Answered at 3:56am on May 22nd, 2008
I know how you feel. I don't like to go to sleep either. My trouble with sleep started when I had my tonsils out at 12, I woke up in terrible pain and have never felt safe trying to sleep since. I also feel like sleep is a waste of time, that I could be using to do other things. I usually force myself to go to bed when I see daylight coming in my curtains. By the way I am usually up at strange hours so if you need someone to talk to go ahead and message me.
Jonathan Shannon 2382
Answered at 9:20pm on May 20th, 2008
I use audio books to sleep. Make sure it is a book you have read, so you are not too terribly interested in it to actually go to bed. It works for me quite well.
Unknown Brain 1892
Answered at 4:35am on May 20th, 2008
Hey neil, Trust me. I feel for ya. Sometimes, when you're so wound up, it's almost impossible to get your mind "relaxed" again. For the past five years, i've tried "melatonin", "ambien", and even some mild perscribed tranqs to get to sleep. Ironically, It was an old mindfuck that finally worked best for me. (power of pursuasion maybe??)
It's interesting how much things change. People are so reliant on so much more these days, that the most simple can be overlooked anymore.
Try counting sheep in your sleep. (or in my case, BBA ladies naked on a beach!) hehehe. Visualize them, and count keeping track at the same time. Some say that it's using both halves of your brain at the same time, some say that it's because you bore yourself to sleep. Any way... it works. (dumb as it sounds) For me, it keeps my mind off of work, and yes. It DOES make you concentrate, But in a different way. For me, it takes about 20 minutes, and I'm rolling over, sacked out.
Try it, and good luck! (seriously).
Joseph Morgan 2400
Answered at 9:46pm on May 19th, 2008
I have this issue also - mind can't stop, but body wants to drop. Experts say never use the bed for anything but sleep and sex. No computer, no tv, no reading. I have to read before sleep, so I ignore that. (I just replace the sex with reading about sex - safer anyway...) What works for me is earplugs, they seem to give an "internal" white noise. A cool room, a fan on, and SOMETIMES I can sleep. I am interested in the responses you get...
Laura Smith 2366
Answered at 9:20pm on May 19th, 2008
I have the same problem, all i do it take a sleeping pill and give myself a massage, then I'm off to sleep...
Stas Urban 2168
Answered at 12:48pm on May 19th, 2008
i have the same issue however what i find cures the issue is a few stiff drinks and a pain killer.Dont drink to much and stick to a few asprin but none the less it works like a charm.The other thing i do to go to sleep is go to bed a few hours before i wanted to and lay there thinking about all the crap i normally do-thus by the time i wanted to go to bed comes around ive already thought of everything and am ready to sleep thus wakeing up at the time i wanted to.
Jonathan Burley 2375
Answered at 8:27am on May 19th, 2008
Well there are a few possibilities as to cause.
1) Circadian rhythm (body clock) - you have in fact adapted your natural 'sleeptime' switch to late at night by staying up so often. (It is therefore out of sync with the actual day/night cycle). Pretty common for kids off school or people who suffer bad jet lag.

2) Hyperflexibilty - There is a 'syndrome' for hyperflexible people (there are more points than this on the physical test but example is try to push your thumb down onto your forearm and see if contact is possible) and one of the noted features of these people is often trouble getting to sleep because they are busy thinking or worrying about issues.

3) Stimulants - Shockingly obvious but could be overlooked, when do you down your last cup of tea / coffee during the day? If it is late evening then it might have some lingering effect into the night (sensitivity to caffiene varies person to person).

Or hell, it could just be your personality (owl or lark? evening or morning person?) or similar things.

FIXING
Ignoring reducing coffee or dosing up on sleep pills I'd advise setting up a routine so that your body thinks "aha, sleeptime" and prepares to drop off. This would need to be a rigid sequence that 'trains' your body to get into a sleep mode because it always goes to sleep after you do these things.
Could be as simple as milk&biscuit before bed or ensuring pajamas on + toothbrushing ALWAYS leads to bed immediately.

It is possible that you've learned to stay up so that you're shattered and fall asleep quickly. In which case going to bed early might require some will power... A trick for dropping off faster is to imagine a peaceful, relaxing scene (at least it will distract you from other thoughts :P)

JB
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