Why do beautiful girls do this?

Why do beautiful girls do this?

26 answers , last was 12 years ago

It seems the more in demand you are, the more of an asshole you can be to others. I've asked out lots and lots of pretty girls and I was surprised to learn that they ALL did the same thing. Why do they do it?

Basically, I am honest and straightforward that I find them cute, and would like to take them out on a date. As soon as I display any interest in them, their "game starts":

Many of them appear very enthusiastic and give me their number. And then INVARIABLY almost every single one starts leading me on without actually meeting up. Whenever she talks to me, she insists she is interested in meeting, but then comes up with all sorts of excuses why she's busy. Many of them barely answer.

Typical example: Friday girl locks eyes with me, definitely interested in me. I like her too, we exchange numbers. I call on Sunday. She says she is at WORK. I say cool, should I call you tonight? She goes "definitely". I call her that night, she doesn't pick up. Text her - no response. Two days later I text "Serena, how about a drink next week? I hope giving me your number wasn't a waste.." she replies right away "no, it wasn't a waste! We should definitely get together!" ... then I text her, excuses. A couple days later I call her, leave a voicemail, never calls back.

I mean, it's so simple to pick up the phone and say "hey, sorry, I'm just not interested... I'm sorry to have led you on." Simple. But they never so much as call me back, even if I specifically text them "look, if you're not interested, I'd appreciate it if you let me know". It's like all the beautiful girls in new york are playing by the same rulebook. By contrast, every normal (not in top 5% of looks) girl behaves NORMALLY.

I should also mention:
* I am a 26 year old guy
* I meet really good looking girls in NYC
* I am very tall and relatively good looking myself ... I have the confidence to come up to her where most guys would not, and express interest and ask her out.

It just doesn't make sense. It's not like she's holding out for a BETTER guy. If she's single has no reason NOT to go out with me. Yet she gives me her number and then delights in not calling me back.

Why do they punish guys who boldly display interest in them, by leading those guys on?

Why?

...

And then, why do they complain that guys don't treat them right... how hypocritical is that :)

Asked by Gregory Magarshak in Dating at 1:44am on July 8th, 2009
Amanda Ferguson 1282
Answered at 3:56am on November 12th, 2012
One answer can't cover all the women. For some they want to play hard to get because when they gave it up too quick they got their heart broken. Others don't want to be mean and have a hard time saying no. Some don't want to admit they were pretending to be single that night but really they are not. Others are attention hounds.

As for women complaining about guys don't treat them right, they aren't talking about the guys trying to get in their pants they are talking about once they get into a relationship. Lots of men are great at sweet talking in the beginning, only the good ones keep it up.

Also before going and blaming the women maybe is there something you are saying or doing that is scaring them off? If that is the reaction you are consistently getting then you need to change your M.O.
Bal Krishan Nautiyal 1260
Answered at 11:36am on December 8th, 2011
this quality in girls is by nature
Unknown Brain 1892
Answered at 9:41am on July 30th, 2009
"Why do they punish guys who boldly display interest in them, by leading those guys on?"
"Why?"
"And then, why do they complain that guys don't treat them right... how hypocritical is that :)"


Answer:

Because 9 out of 10 of women are NUTS. The other 10% are just bat shit crazy!
Lynne Lefler 1950
Answered at 11:55pm on July 24th, 2009
I have read your question, and everyone's answers, including all the comments.

As a female, when I read your question, and your comments to other people's posts, I got the impression that your main focus is getting laid. Nothing wrong with that, if that's what you want, but most females will feel insulted if you walk up to a strange woman and ask her for sex, or give off your non-verbal sexual signals before you get to know each other. (The insult to her is: she thinks you are assuming she is a hooker, or a slut.) If sex is all you are interested in, there are professional sex workers (hookers) for that. For the price of a traditional date, you could get laid any time, by a professional.

If your aim is to meet someone to love and have a long term relationship with, then you have to know that there is more to a long-term relationship than only sex.

Most of the advice on here has to do with you learning to develop the other parts of a relationship before you expect any woman, beautiful or not, to be willing to be sexual with you.

Regarding the part of your question that assumes a woman is leading you on: Let me ask you this. If you want a woman to be honest when you ask her out, are you REALLY prepared to hear the following kinds of honest responses, without feeling a negative response?

1 ) No thanks. You are not my type.

2) I'm not interested in a date with you.

3) I don't go on private dates with strangers, but I would be okay with a meeting in a public place or with a group activity until we get to know each other better.

Most men I have known in my long life would feel uncomfortable and put down if a woman answered in any of those ways. Because of mens' discomfort with the woman speaking the truth in those situations, women have been conditioned to answer less than honestly. There does not seem to be a good way for a woman to say "no," without a guy having a negative response to it. That's why they are avoiding further contact with you. They don't want to tell you "no," to your face.

Don't let the first conversation you initiate be about her appearance! That's way too personal and sexual coming from a stranger. Learn about some non-sexual, yet fun or interesting relationship skills. And good luck in your quest to find the woman of your dreams.
Anna Lee Grant 1391
Answered at 4:19am on July 24th, 2009
I agree with MaryKathleen. If you're going after the stereotypical 'beautful girl' then the top most reason she isn't doing anything is because she likes the attention. Women like that don't really care about what they do, so when a guy asks them out and they really aren't interested, then they'll act like they are, just to keep GETting that attention. I quote "It makes them feel more confident.", thank you MaryK lol. Second senario is that they feel bad letting you down so they ice you out, to whatever degree; harsh, or slowly pushing you away, hoping you'll eventually forget about her and move on. And to be honest, as a girl, I'm sure we've all done something along these lines once before. Sorry 'bout that guys lol.

Btw, you should watch John Heffron: middle class funny. He has a little skit about this sort of thing in there lol
Alla Goltsman 1479
Answered at 3:39am on July 24th, 2009
Honestly? You don't deserve a better treatment. You care about looks? They don't last long. Why do you like the girl? Because she is cute? Does she have any brain power, values? What does she like? Did you care to talk to her prior to asking her out? Did you tell her that you would call on that particular day, at that particular time? If you did not tell her that, did you really expect her to sit and to wait and to hope that you might call her? How many girls do you meet per week? If you concentrated on one special girl, if you really liked the person in her, she would be happy to answer her phone, when you called.

OK, now you can run to your mommy and her about that old witch on FB that told you all this. I bet, your mom would be happy.
Mary VanRavenswaay 1349
Answered at 10:47pm on July 23rd, 2009
Girls LOVE it when guys like them.
Whether they like them back or not.
It makes them feel more confident, and look more interesting to others if they have someone else who is interested in them.
Reyes Al 1294
Answered at 10:15pm on July 23rd, 2009
Try being friends with someone--like, really friends with them--before you ask them out. If you can't manage to be that close with them, they're not for you. It will save you a lot of nasty surprises in the future. If you look to be just buddies first, more honesty comes out to friends than boyfriends. It's so weird how people will meet someone, ask them out on a serious date, then wonder how they managed to pick up someone so NOT what they were looking for because they never took the time to get to know them. It's odd. :\
It also sounds like you're a bit too gung-ho trying to find a lady. Take the time to understand someone you're interested in.
And if you don't want to take the time to know someone, just take a break from dating.
Carolina Frietze-Lasher 1260
Answered at 7:30pm on July 23rd, 2009
It is a game, and either you play or you don't. Calling these girls like the way described is not going to get them to respond in the desired fashion. They already know you're interested but you seem a little desperate. So next time wait three days as per usual then send a flirty text, if she doesn't respond leave it at that. I'm guessing she will girls like flirting with someone they want to talk to. You've gotta build up that anticipation to give em the butterflies their looking for otherwise they see you as luke warm.
Helen Birtwhistle 1260
Answered at 4:57pm on July 23rd, 2009
Some girls hate being forced into a position where they have to say "No." that bluntly, it makes them feel like a bitch and worry that they've made the wrong decision. If they're not interested or too scared to go on a date they'd rather just ignore you once or twice and wait for you to go away by yourself, I know it sounds harsh but it's not meant to be game playing it's just taking the easy way out. Most people are cowards!
Plus it sounds like you are pretty full on and a little pushy even if you don't mean to be. If a girl ignores you when you ask her out why ask her again? I find it quite irritating if a guy persistently asks me to meet up or calls/texts me when I havn't responded the last time. If a guy is too full on is scares me away because I can't tell if they mean it, i'd much rather a guy be a bit aloof and take things really slowly. Wait for her to reply to you before you contact her again, she will if she's interested. That way you don't end up looking silly and feeling like you've tried too hard!
When you ask for a girls number, unless she really really doesn't like the look of you she is likely to say yes just because its easier and if you insist on asking her directly if she's interested, yes she ought to give you a straight answer but in reality she is likely to take the easy way out and say yes so as not to offend you! Again it's cowardliness.
After saying all that some girls are just bitches and you can't do anything about that. If you think its only the top 5% most beautiful girls that do this yet you keep asking them out maybe you should expand your horizons a little bit and start asking out girls who may not look like supermodels but have a personality and a sense of humour. I think that is way way more important anyway, for me a funny guy wins over a good-looking one any day!
Hope some of this helps!
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