Gawd. people sicken me. If this is your reasoning (in which case don't feel bad if it is... it's the norm these days) then all I can say is that I hope to hell you didn't have kids.
When you can honestly look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you have tried the best you possibly could, given 250% and not complained when things didn't go your way. When you can look back on all of the things you love about the person and seriously be ready to live without those things. If you really want it to work then be that perfect partner to them and stop looking at the flaws in your relationship. Tell them how sexy they are, laugh at their jokes (even if they aren't funny), and always be interested in what they have to say, even if deep down, it's not interesting to you. Make surprise plans to go out and do something that your partner enjoys, even if you don't like it. Ask them if there is anything in your own life that is getting in the way and work on removing that obstacle. The fact is, instead of wishing THEY were a better companion to YOU......it's time YOU were a better companion to THEM.....
When the state supreme court voids your marriage because a majority of the people in your state feel your sexual preference threatens their right to oppress anyone they don't agree with.
I think it depends on the circumstances.
If he's abusive or cheats NOW is time.
I believe Love is not a feeling, it is an action. During marriage i think we fall in and out of love. Marriage is a commitment to the other person to continue those actions even when we don't feel the feeling. If you both look at what you have instead of what you don't have (in eachother) you will appreciate eachother more.
If you continue with the actions of loving the person you are with, the feeling will come back . It's a kind of fake it till you make it thing.
It is a two way street the other has to do so as well.
Our vows are to love , honor and cherish. I think if one or the other betrays those vows on a continuous basis and all efforts to make it work are exhausted it's grounds for divorce,
although in the state of Cali. the only legal grounds for divorce are irreconcilable differences.
I've always heard that it is greener on the other side of the pasture. Has anyone thought about that it's greener when you water the grass. I heard one gal once share of all the creative ways she thought of to make her husband miserable - at the time I thought some of them were funny. Later I thought how sad it was that she didn't make more of an effort to try to make it work.
Any reason for divorce will work - it doesn't matter. I guess it depends on your moral views as to why it would be okay to divorce. My husband and I almost did divorce about 20 years ago - we got counseling and it helped ALOT! If the spouse (that can be either woman or man) physically abuses you - then I say for survival's sake, get out. If they emotionally abuse you, get counseling - but you may have to get out too. If your spouse is unwilling to change (or if you aren't) then what are you teaching your children too about, how okay is it to abuse? There are lots of questions that go into this. Bottom line, get a good counselor and see if it salvageable.
When there is no feeling of love anymore. You could love a person but not be in love. You should be "in" love with the person you are married to. If things have happened that you can't seem to get over. If you want to save it and cant get over something that has happened go for counseling and see if that helps. If your spouse is beating on you physically or mentally and won't stop or go for help. If you are simply unhappy! Life is to short to live unhappy.
I find it interesting that you ask the question like there is an experation on each marriage. It's not that I don't believe that there are real reasons to get devorced, however it seems that in todays society it has become chic to divorce. Phrases like trial marriage or starter marriage are common place in our American lingo. People have forgotten the concept of commetment. Most have no idea that marriage requires hard work and a willingness to put someone before self. We have been sold the idea that we must look inwardly for happiness, but to find true happiness you must focus on others. When we purpose to help and strengthen others we find joy in making a difference in someone elses life. When we focus on our selves we only find the things that make us misserabel and get caught up in what we are lacking or what is not being done for us. If you are thinking of divorcing, it is important that you understand that the person you are seperating from was someone you once or still cared for and had some conection with. You shared dreams and disires with and had vowed to love forever, stand by in sickness and in health through riches and pour.
1892
