what kind of qualities a man should have to whom u want to get marriage?

Jerina Jahaffar 1260

I agree with Kira in that you should marry a man with whom you share your core values. I have survived a bad relationship and I have realised that my ideas, values, principles and beliefs played a major role in my accepting that person. I was unable to do so, because at a very basic level we were very different.

I think more than thinking what qualities a man should possess, you should start looking for qualities that a man has which match yours. His sense of humor, his ability to laugh at himself, honesty, education, ability to take care of himself and his family etc etc. So amina, I think you should sit down and do a self analysis and figure out which qualities you possess and which qualities you look for in a man. Of those, how many would you be willing to compromise, how many are absolutely essential in a man? Think of all these and take a good decision.

Kathleen O'Brien Williams 1642

If you are a ying than you would be wise to marry a yang. If your a yang then look for a compatable ying. I've always said that 2 yings or 2 yangs together spells disaster.

Amy Johnston 2055

Well, I got married at 19. I've been married now for almost that many years. I was young and in love when I married and I couldn't forsee the future. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but there are more things that we disagree on than those things that we agree on. That being said, I will tell you what qualities I think every man should at least try to have.

He should be a good listener, he should be willing to meet you in the middle whenever possible, he should treat you with respect, he should be supportive when you need a shoulder to cry on, he should not be a freeloader (meaning if for some reason you are the one who supports the family financially, he should help out around the house), he should not be a womanizer, he should allow you to do things that you enjoy even if it doesn't interest him and you should each be allowed to have your own friends, he should be willing to try what interests you at least once, he should call home if he's gonna be late (not because he has to check in, but because you will probably worry about him if he doesn't) and he should try not to make being late a habit. (I edited this after thinking about it-of course if he's in the military then the part about being late doesn't really apply.)

I'm sure there are other qualities you would like in a husband, but just remember that nobody is perfect. You are both going to make mistakes. Just be willing to forgive each other. Remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Sarika Kulkarni 2092

It upto you to decide what kind of life partner you are seeking..

Unknown Brain 1830

That depends on what you want to get out of the marriage- People marry for a number of reasons, ranging from things like money, power, and social status to the desire to have a family, companionship, and intimacy.

Nobody can answer that question but you. Don't worry about what society will think of your answer, be brutally honest with yourself- what do you want out of marriage?

Monogamous marriage itself is a relatively new thing in terms of mankinds history. The modern marriage model is patterned after a pagan fertility ritual that was adopted by the early judeochristian church- and officially syndicated by the Holy Roman Empire.

Prior to this, even in judeochristian circles, polygamy was rampant, and in lesser quantities, polyandry and general polyamory.

Unless both you and your partner are not only religious, but follow the same religion, marriage is little more than a few words and a social construct. Some couples do well in marriage, but those are the minority- By the most recent census, there is currently around a 50% divorce rate in the United States, and adultery/infidelity are pretty rampant in many existing marriages (an anonymous survey of some 50,000 couples across many demographics had just under 70% admitting to having commited adultery- the actual percentage of this sample is probably higher than this, as I would guess a lot of people would deny it even in an anonymous survey. Now granted, with a population over 300 million, 100,000 people may not be demonstrative of the population as a whole, but its certainly a provocative figure.

Personal observation on my part, which again (disclaimer) is not even beginning to approach the total population, shows about 1 in 10 marriages are happy, healthy, and successful.

But why? I mean, you wanted to marry this person in the first place, so why should being married change anything? Some say that it was just a fleeting feeling, that the two of them fell out of love, or that the two married for the wrong reasons in the first place. I disagree- those are copouts and are avoiding the actual issue.

That is this- When you decide to marry someone, you make that decision for a reason- 'I'm in love with you' is NOT the reason, but rather, it is the qualities that person carries that made you fall in love with them in the first place that are the real reason.

I am neither a psychologist, or a sociologist, but I think that in many peoples cases, marriage can be a very negative thing for a relationship- It is seen by society as the 'goal' of a relationship- to find somebody to marry. And all that stuff we do in hopes of attracting a mate? Well, we've got one now, so why continue? The things we find exciting about our mate don't vanish, but the exciting things themselves diminish as they move out of the attraction mindset.

For a marriage to work requires a certain mindset, and love is definitely key here. If a woman truly loves her man, she's not going to 'let herself go-' Shes going to always want to look her best for him. Apply that logic to nagging, reduced frequency of sex and excuses to get out of it, and any number of things that married women do, and the same result is true. But it's not the womans fault! No, sir, when you were dating her, you made it a point to look your best, to charm her, to romance her. Now that you're married, you come home, crack open a beer, and plop in front of the TV.

The secret for a marriage to work, in my opinion, is to never stop dating your spouse- a ring on her finger is not a checkered flag that means you can slack off. For a marriage to be happy, healthy, and filled with love, both of you need to continue to work to attract one another (and -important- I'm not talking just physical attraction!). That means this- even when you're married, guys, you need to take your girl out. You still need to romance her. You married her because shes supposed to be the #1 in your life- treat her like it! The successful marriages I've observed all have this in common- They don't lose the 'spark,' and they don't lose it BECAUSE they don't lose it. If both of you go out of your way to look good for one another, have fun, keep it exciting and romantic... Well, think of it this way:

Girls, a man who loves you is not going to just plop in front of the tv with a beer if you greet him at the door, dressed attractively, flirt with him a bit and greet him with a deep kiss. Not even that- flash him that smile of yours, be playful and joke around, be FUN! This isn't even about sex, though the lack thereof is the married mans biggest complaint. It's about NOT STOPPING all those things you were doing that got him to drop on one knee and whip that ring out.

And guys? A woman who loves you isn't going to have headaches, or let herself go, or start nagging you over things that aren't really important if you continue to sweep her off her feet, keep her life exciting, and do all that same shit that got her to say 'I do' in the first place.

In my opinion, a successful marriage removes NOTHING from a relationship, it only adds depth and security. You should never stop doing things to attract your mate just because you're married. THAT, I think, is the pitfall of marriage.

Kira Groves 1236

The man whom you marry must share your core values. For a marriage to work, a couple must have the same expectations and guidelines for life. The best way to ensure this is to marry someone who shares your religious, moral, and philosophical beliefs.