Here's the situation.
A female friend of mine met myself and one of my brothers friends on the same night, almost a year ago today. She and I have been good friends since then.
She was marginally interested in my brothers friend, however, and having been single for a while, essentially entered a "friends with benefits" situation with him, wherein she subsequently ended up falling for the guy, with no interest in that direction being reciprocated.
That situation went on for a while, and she was ok with things not being official so long as there was an understanding that neither would be sleeping with anyone else.
Long story short, a few months back, he did. With a 13 year old, no less. He's 19, and she's somewhat older. When this came to light, she was extremely upset.
My friend isn't stable and has suicidal tendencies. Not the all-for-show type- on more than one occasion she's been found literally on deaths door step, and been just barely resuscitated.
The earlier situation made tensions extremely high. I had a talk with the guy, and communicated to him that he needed to either shit or get off the pot- Either get serious with her, or cut things off and stop leading her on.
He agreed to stop leading her on, and they were hanging out on a friends basis ever since.
My friend communicated to me in private that yes, she still likes him, but she's still upset about what happened. She stated that she has no intentions of approaching him in a sexual manner, but confessed that she wasn't certain if she could resist if he came onto her.
Long story short, she couldn't, and that went on for a bit again, with the guy assuring me he wasn't going to do anything to hurt her... right.
Then, he did it again. Same 13 year old girl. I roughed him up a bit and told him either he was going to talk to her about it, or I was going to put him in the hospital. He said he would talk to her about it.
I find out today that last night, when he was supposed to be talking to my friend about it, he was fucking her instead.
So now I'm at somewhat of an impasse. He's not answering my calls and none of his friends are fessing up as to where he is. Even so, physical violence is likely not the best solution and doesn't address the main problem here- my friend.
On one hand, she has a right to know, considering the situation, and telling her is, from a moral standpoint, the right thing to do.
On the other hand, she has suicidal tendencies, is seriously into this guy, and well...
I'm into her, and she knows it. Because of that, my personal credibility in the matter is questionable. It's not losing her as a friend that I'm worried about- thats a sacrifice I'd be willing to make to get him away from her for good. What I'm worried about is that she won't believe me, and nothing will change- except she'll end up losing me and a number of my friends as support when she does find out, which is inevitable.
Is there anything I can do here that won't fuck her whole world up in the process?
EDIT:
Apparently I left an important part of this story out. A number of us in the know have already reported the involvement of the 13 year old in this.
However, and this is the worst part of it: When questioned by any form of authority figure, both he and the girl deny it. The 13 year old has then been known to brag about it to her friends and acquaintances.
Some of them have come forward as well, but we've been told by the police that regardless of how many people bring word of mouth testimony, if the 13 year old is denying it and there are neither witnesses nor physical evidence, theres no case.
In retrospect, I suppose thats an important bit to include here, but I'm more concerned with the welfare of my friend than in beating my head against a wall trying to get this guy punished through the normal channels- He'll get his, trust me on that.
I should also mention this right here- my goal isn't to get her to fall for me or anything like that. I don't believe in exploiting others during times of weakness, and moreover, I respect myself enough that I'm not willing to be a "rebound." Right now, my primary concern is to help my friend.
UPDATE (08/07/09):
The tool slipped up and they now have sufficient evidence to investigate him. My friend's doing ok for the moment. Let's just hope our legal system _works_.